Robot Jazz

  I've been thoroughly enjoying reading Mary Chesnut's Diary from Dixie . While she and her family were staunch supporters of the slave-holding South, she was also a witty and intelligent woman who I suspect could have effortlessly charmed me into writing her love letters by candlelight.  Putting that aside, I was struck by an insightful observation she made about the various cults of personality that were forming in the confederate government, and the effect it was having on the cult leaders: Much love, admiration, worship hardens an idol’s heart. It becomes utterly callous and selfish. It expects to receive all and to give nothing. It even likes the excitement of seeing people suffer. When I read that, various people in this regime instantly sprung to mind, but first amongst these was the South African idiot savant himself, Elon Musk. This is why I rejoice in the news that Musk's pride and joy, Tesla, is suffering grave economic consequences from his destructive personal...

  Breaking News {SATIRE} Embattled Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth has once again become embroiled in scandal.  It has been uncovered that Hegseth has been using a game's clan chat system to discuss classified war plans with his online gaming buddies.  According to an anonymous source, Hegseth would often talk about ongoing military operations while playing Activision's popular battle royale shooter,  Call of Duty: Warzone . An informant, whom we shall refer to as "BBalls" to preserve his anonymity, recently contacted this publication with startling allegations. "We'd often be in the middle of a match when 'Hegmeth' - that was our nickname for him - would say something like, 'I just fragged some guy with a SKS, just like when I ordered a SEAL sniper to whack General Hubuti in Yemen. I'm awesome!'" recounted the source. "He would flex his SecDef muscles like this all the time, usually right after some noob downed him for the um...