Robot Jazz

  Yesterday, news broke that Trump had scheduled a prime‑time address to the nation. What this address will be about is officially unknown, but a rumor in the press suggested that it would concern America’s election security in general — and specifically the claim that the 2020 election was stolen from Trump, along with the allegation that Georgia’s two Democratic senators, Jon Ossoff and Raphael Warnock, were fraudulently elected.  What are we to make of this address? I, for one, see three possibilities: 1. The Empty‑Calorie Performance First, this is going to be yet another empty‑calorie performance from an entertainer long past his prime and completely out of fresh material. If you recall, it was just this past April that Trump felt compelled to give an address where, in his typical incoherent fashion, he tried to justify the Iran war a full month after it began — and only after it was already progressing poorly. That performance came after a similarly deranged affair the ...

  Back on April 10th, when word of the cessation of hostilities with Iran first broke, I reminded people that any agreement with Trump is worthless. The man is, by nature, treacherous. As I wrote at the time:  This is typical Trump: a man with a long history of violating contractual obligations (3,500 breach-of-contract lawsuits over the past three decades, according to the Journal Sentinel).  Having done what he needed to do to extricate himself from this fantastic mess that he created with his co-conspirator and war criminal, Benji Netanyahu, Trump is now attempting to change the terms of the deal to suit himself.  Can I call it or what?  I don't deserve any credit, though, as Trump, being the simplest of simple-minded individuals, is fantastically easy to read and predict.  Which is why he lost the war against a mid-tier regional power like Iran, and will lose this next round as well. Speaking of, here is the headline from today's New Zork Times : If thi...

  It was a surreal spectacle. After a blistering‑hot day, a line of strong thunderstorms with “destructive winds” — as the NWS so helpfully phrased it — blew into my area. Before I could even call for Auntie Em, gusts topping 80 miles per hour ripped through the neighborhood, blowing through the house like a poltergeist as curtains snapped and light décor scattered. Worse, the winds caught my large deck umbrella like a sail and took it — along with the glass‑topped table it was attached to — flinging the whole thing onto its side and into the still‑smoldering charcoal grill, risking a fire. In a matter of seconds, my calm Fourth of July evening had become Bedlam. After I closed my slack jaw, I immediately ran onto the deck to save the table and avert a possible fire. As I stepped outside, I was buffeted by impossibly strong gusts of wind that made the tall oaks on my property dance like tortured spirits in the night. Adding to the end‑of‑the‑world vibe were loud cracks of thunder, ...

And I am back! I wasn’t gone that long, but somewhere along the line I got addicted to these late‑afternoon blogging sessions, and any absence longer than a week feels like a small eternity. Part of the break was my seasonal affective disorder acting up — the garish summer sun loves to inflict cluster headaches on me. (Long‑time readers know my feelings about summer. Don’t worry, that rant is coming.) But I was also waiting for my new laptop. Believe it or not, I’ve been doing all my blogging on a seven-year-old  Chromebook . A pre‑COVID Chromebook , mind you, back when they had the processing power of a determined potato and a three‑year expiration date before Google cut off updates. The fact that I coaxed it into lasting more than twice its intended lifespan is a minor miracle — one that required creativity, alternative apps, and the patience of a monk as I waited for my keystrokes to appear a full second or two after I typed them. What can I say? I’m loyal to my tech and aller...

It must be hard to be a Trump voter these days. Consider your track record: You voted for a felon to become richer, and now you are poorer You voted for an insurrectionist to "own the libs", and now the right-wing has never been weaker You voted for a draft dodger to make America stronger, and now the nation has lost a war in a little over one hundred days But, hey, who needs fancy book learnin', right?  What do experts in foreign policy know that a corn-shucker in Iowa doesn't? Isn't that right?  You damn fools. You mouth-breathing, reality TV-addicted, cage-match cheering rubes.  What have you done... 💀💀💀💀💀  When I wrote in a previous blog post that 'Unconditional Surrender' Trump had surrendered , I didn't expect that to be literally true! What I was anticipating was Trump slinking away with his tail between his legs by agreeing to some nebulous ceasefire terms that never progress beyond the discussion phase, with Trump declaring victory despit...

  Just a quick post today, so I'll let the front page of the New Zork Times speak for itself. The übermensch Donald Trump has officially thrown in the towel on a war he launched alongside Israel, one begun with unclear goals, sustained with no plan, and ultimately, predictably, lost after a brief 108-day campaign. The only thing achieved was global chaos and regional instability.  Never forget this, because you are living through history. America the great, America the 'Hooah!' mighty, has lost a war to a mid-tier regional power—and did it in record time. Once upon a time, it took Washington at least a decade to retreat from a conflict. No longer! Under the stunning leadership of the Epstein-class and a manly-man 'Secretary of WAAARRRRRR!!', the world's last superpower has finally earned the right to book a room for one of its presidents at The Fletcher Memorial Home for Incurable Tyrants and Kings, and with that booking, retreat into global retirement. And be ...