Day 307: It's A MAGA, MAGA, MAGA, MAGA World!
It's been too many years for me to recall - and I am too lazy to check my dusty texts - but I believe it was Plato who wrote that to live under the capricious whims of a madman was the closest one could come to being in hell. (Or maybe it was a Reddit thread quoting Plato. Who knows anymore?) Why? Because a madman, being mad, does not govern by rationality but by passing fancy and impulse. One day, he declares the sky to be blue; the next, it is green. One day vanilla is the best flavor of ice cream, the next it is chocolate. Of course, the issues will be more serious than that (or will they?), and so will be the consequences. To live under a mad regime is so dangerous because having the wrong opinion can land one in a gulag. But what is the wrong opinion when right and wrong exist in a state of quantum flux, one determined not by truth and falsehood but by lunacy?
This observation has been bouncing around my head ever since Premier Trump and New York City mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani became best buds in the Oval Office yesterday. How we went from Mamdani being a mayoral Red Dawn to receiving Trump's imprimatur is beyond me. It reminds me of that observation about the rational impossibility of living under an insanely random administration.
It must be difficult being MAGA during times such as these. I mean, consider the circles that routinely need to be squared over the last 307 days of Trump 2.0.
The Catechism of Contradictions
On Tariffs
- Tariffs are good and eternal.
- Tariffs are paused, rolled back, increased, or forgotten.
- Americans do not pay tariffs—foreigners do.
- Americans do pay tariffs, which is why they are being paused on food items to ease increased prices that also don't exist
On China
- China must never touch our AI chips.
- China may touch our chips—if the cut is right.
On the Epstein Files
- The files must be released.
- The files do not exist.
- The files exist, but are fake.
- The files must not be released.
- Congress must vote to release the fake files.
- The DoJ must investigate the names in the fake files.
On War
- The Russo‑Ukrainian War can be solved in a day.
- The Russo‑Ukrainian War cannot be solved.
- Zelenskyy cannot win.
- Zelenskyy can win.
- Zelenskyy cannot win.
On Allies and Enemies
- Zohran Mamdani is a communist menace.
- Zohran Mamdani is a great mayor‑to‑be.
- Marjorie Taylor Greene is a patriot.
- Marjorie Taylor Greene is a traitor.




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